Shilpas nemesis Jade evicted from Big Brother

The House fell into a stunned silence following the news that Jade was on her way out, in a mixture of sadness and relief. 'I just nearly suffered a heart attack,' Shilpa sighed upon hearing the news, as a procession of huggers queued up to wish Jade well.

'You will be ok,' whispered Shilpa to the evictee. 'There's nothing to fear. Don't start me crying,' joked Jade as a few stray tears began to well up. 'I don't want to cry.' In the mandatory hug aftermath, the housemates sat back down and reflected on recent events, with words few and far between. Jack functioned as his girlfriend's rock, in that he had a stony exterior and said nothing.

Cleo tried to lighten proceedings by issuing a rallying call: 'Come on! We need to stick together and be strong here,' but it was to no avail as heads were bowed in abject silence. 'This is a horrible game,' muttered Jo. 'I don't understand what's going on.'

By this stage Shilpa had slipped off to that most glamorous of locations ' a toilet cubicle. Ian soon joined her. 'I don't want her to go out like this. I pray to God there's no problem for her out there,' Shilpa said mid-bawl. 'If I went out today I would have defended her.' Ian agreed with the sentiment, saying: 'Jade can go out with her head up high because she's done nothing wrong.'

Shilpa then rejoined Jade and her cohorts on the sofas, which by now had the atmosphere of a morgue. 'It always works out for the best in the long run,' Shilpa said to the evictee in a bid to comfort her. Things finally began to kick off! Well, in one sense anyway. For Dirk, Ian, and Jermaine headed to the kitchen for a spot of escapist fun by playing table football. 'I'm the champ!' proclaimed the A-Team actor.

Meanwhile, Jade was trying to reassure the others by saying: 'I've been in this situation before... I'm the 25th most intellectual person...'

'Influential,' interjected Shilpa. Right'It seems Indians are better at English'.I bet they are'.

Life won't be easy for Jade. For Indian businessmen have been publishing advertisements in newspapers inviting her to India and get a taste of Indian hospitality. Shilpa, on the other hand is tipped to being the front runner by London bookies for emerging triumphant out of Big Brother house. Lord Meghnad Desai on the other hand termed the whole incident as 'Candy Floss Racism'. Hmmmm'..Never mind the candy'At least, the subject is being debated upon heatedly. Hope it benefits expatriate Asians'.

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