Jokes
10 Guinness's in 10 Minutes
An American walks into an Irish pub and says, "I'll give anyone $100 if they can drink 10 Guinness's in 10 minutes." Most people just ignore…
A man goes to a bar with his dog
A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "You can't bring…
Irish Olives
McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled…
A circus owner walked into a bar
A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot…
A construction worker walks into a bar
A construction worker walks into a bar. He's a rather large, menacing guy. He orders a beer, chugs it back, and bellows, "All you guys on…
On their way home from the bar
John and Jessica were on their way home from the bar one night and John got pulled over by the police. The officer told John that…
A woman follows her husband
A woman followed her husband to the public house. "How can you come here," she said, taking a sip of his pint of Guinness, "and drink…
Knows when to stop
A man walks into a bar and orders one shot. Then he looks into his shirt pocket and orders another shot. After he finishes, he looks…
Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman in a Pub
One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together. They each bought a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about…
Kangaroo Fence
A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. He…
Looking to buy a frog?
A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?" The…
Hit a sparrow
A motorist was driving down the highway and all of a sudden he hit a sparrow. He pulled over, picked the poor sparrow who was still…
The Talking Dog
A guy has a talking dog. He brings it to a talent scout. "This dog can speak English," he claims to the unimpressed agent. "Okay, Sport,"…
The Pessimist
Friends, one an Optimist and the other a Pessimist could never quite agree on any topic of discussion. One day the Optimist decided he had found…
On The Run From A Bear
Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them.The bear…