Jokes
Irish Olives
McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled…
A circus owner walked into a bar
A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot…
A construction worker walks into a bar
A construction worker walks into a bar. He's a rather large, menacing guy. He orders a beer, chugs it back, and bellows, "All you guys on…
On their way home from the bar
John and Jessica were on their way home from the bar one night and John got pulled over by the police. The officer told John that…
A woman follows her husband
A woman followed her husband to the public house. "How can you come here," she said, taking a sip of his pint of Guinness, "and drink…
Knows when to stop
A man walks into a bar and orders one shot. Then he looks into his shirt pocket and orders another shot. After he finishes, he looks…
Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman in a Pub
One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together. They each bought a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about…
The Pensioners
The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks.""And did he?""Yes, I had to sell the car to pay the…
The Buffalo Theory
A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo. When the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at…
Two Wishes
A man walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind him, and as he sits, the bartender asks for their order.The man says, "I'll…
The Lucky Break
A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and…
The Drunk Was Floundering
The drunk was floundering down the alley carrying a box with holes on the side. He bumped into a friend who asked, "What do you have…
A Forgetful Bartender
A man walks into a bar and has a couple of beers. Once he is done the bartender tells him he owes $9.00."But I paid,…
The Dog Bites
Yesterday, scientists in the United States revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.To prove their theory, they fed one hundred men twelve pints…
On The Buses
A drunken man gets on the bus late one night, staggers up the aisle, and sits next to an elderly woman.She looks the man up…