Jokes

Military Language

The reason the Air Force, Army, Navy and Marines bicker amongst themselves is that they don't speak the same language. For instance, Take the simple phrase…

Something to stir me up

Patient: "Doctor, what I need is something to stir me up; something to put me in a fighting mood. Did you put something like that in…

Miracle Cure

Doctor Bloomfield, who was known for extraordinary treatment of arthritis, had a waiting room full of people when a little old lady, almost bent over in…

Too Late, He's Long Dead

This woman rushes to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off, "Doctor, take a look at me. When I…

Good Eyes

This woman rushes to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off, "Doctor, take a look at me. When I…

This is Heaven

This 85-year-old couple, having been married almost 60 years, died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last 10 years, mainly due…

Info from the Doctor

A little old woman called Mount Sinai Hospital. She said, "Mount Sinai Hospital? Hello. Darling, I'd like to talk with the person who gives the information…

Being Polite

While I was working as a pediatric nurse, I had the difficult assignment of giving immunization shots to children. One day I entered the examining room…

Circumcision

One day in the hospital, two little boys were lying on stretchers next to each other outside of the operating room. The first boy leans over…

The woman's husband

The ComaThe woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single…

My Wife is Deaf

A concerned husband went to a doctor to talk about his wife. "Doctor, I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the first…

A college physics

A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him."Why do we have to learn this…

The Veterinary Clinic

Glenn took his dog to the veterinary clinic, and laid its limp body on the table. The doctor pulled out his stethoscope, listened to the dog's…

Vet Cure

A Veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor.The doctor asked her all the usual questions: what were the symptoms, how long had…

Memory Test

Three elderly men visited the doctor for a memory test. The doctor asked the first one, "What's three times three?""285!" the man replied.Worried, the…