Jokes
A Blonde & Her Waitress
Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911? A: She can't find the eleven.
A Blonde & Her Thermos
A blonde notices that her coworker has a thermos, so she asks him what it's for. He responds, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things…
ANIMAL ROTATION
Q: What animal rotates at least 200 times after it dies?A: A rotisserie chicken.
ANIMAL LIVES
Q: What has more lives than a cat?A: A frog -- it croaks every night.
A WOMAN'S FOUR FAVORITE ANIMALS
Q: What are a woman's four favorite animals?A: A mink in the closet, a Jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bedroom and an…
A SACK FULL OF CHICKENS
Two rednecks walk down a dirt path. One man has a big sack over his shoulder. The other man asks what's in the sack.The first…
A MAN AND HIS PET GIRAFFE WALK INTO A BAR...
A man and his pet giraffe walk into a bar and start drinking. As the night goes on, they get drunk, and the giraffe finally passes…
A KANGAROO WALKS INTO A BAR...
A kangaroo walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "Blood is the lipstick of all wounds."The bartender does not know how he said this…
A GUMMY PROBLEM
Q: Why did the chewing gum cross the road?A: He was stuck to the chicken's foot.Tweet Share
A GRASSHOPPER WALKS INTO A BAR...
A grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!"The grasshopper looks surprised and asks, "You have…
A BEAR WALKS INTO A BAR.
A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'll have a pint of beer and a.......... packet of peanuts."The bartender asks, "Why…
ADAM FERRARA: 35 YEARS OF MARRIAGE
The only marriage I've observed for any length of time is my parents -- 35 years. I asked my pop, I go, 'Pop, 35 years --…
A MATH PROFESSOR'S MISTAKE
A college math professor and his wife are both 60 years old. One evening the wife comes home and finds a note from her husband that…
$100 BILL TATTOO
A guy asks for a tattoo of a $100 bill on his penis. Curious, the tattoo artist asks him why he would possibly want that.He…