Jokes
A salesman gave it up to become a policeman
A salesman gave it up to become a policeman...A salesman, tired of his job, gave it up to become a policeman.Several months later, a…
Blondes work seven days a week
Q: Why do blondes work seven days a week?A: So you don’t have to retrain them on Monday.
Little Johnny needs to go to the bathroom
Little Johnny was sitting in class one day and he really needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled, "Teacher, Teacher, I have to go pee…
Worker Ants
The teacher was giving her class of seven-year-olds a natural history lesson. "Worker ants," she told them, "can carry pieces of food five times their own…
Learn a new word each day
Arbitrator ar'-bi-tray-ter: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's.Avoidable uh-voy'-duh-buhl: What a bullfighter tries to do.Baloney buh-lo'-nee: Where some hemlines fall.Bernadette…
New Definitions
Atom Bomb :An invention to end all inventions.Boss :Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.Cigarette…
Definitions for Parents
Definitions for ParentsFEEDBACK: The inevitable result when a baby doesn't appreciate the mashed carrots.HEARSAY: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.PRENATAL:…
10 Words That Don't Exist, But Should
1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks'trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub tap on and off with your toes.2. CARPERPETUATION (kar'pur pet u a…
Male or Female
From the Washington Post Style Invitation, in which it was postulated that English should have male and female nouns, and readers were asked to assign a…
Funny Product Names
Clean Finger Nail - Chinese tissuesKolic - Japanese mineral waterCreap Creamy Powder - Japanese Coffee CreamerSwine - Chinese chocolatesLibido - Chinese soda…
Top Twenty Flight Advertising Slogans
1. BadAir: When you just can't wait for the world to come to you.2. BadAir: We're Amtrak with wings.3. Join our frequent near-miss program.…
Funny Menu
The following are items found overseas in which people have made inappropriate use of English words for various products, and bizarre menu items in restaurants.Cold…
Newly issued alcohol warnings
Newly issued alcohol warningsThe Toronto Board of Health has proposed that warning signs be placed on all alcohol bottles to tip off drinkers about the…
Funny Newspaper Bloopers
Here are a few genuine news bloopers gleaned from American newspapers. These were taken from an article by Richard Lederer, author of "Anguished English".On behalf…
The 25 Best Newspaper Headlines of 1999
The 25 Best Newspaper Headlines of 19991. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts Say2. Include Your Children When Baking Cookies3. Police Begin…