Jokes
Wedding Vows
A grandmother overheard her 5-year-old granddaughter playing "wedding." The wedding vows went like this:"You have the right to remain silent, anything you say may be…
Early Shopping Trip
It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the defendant, "What are you charged with?""Doing my Christmas shopping early…
A man walked into
A man walked into the local Chamber of Commerce of a small town, obviously desperate. Seeing a man at the counter, the stranger asks, ''Is there…
A woman, a bus and a baby
A woman gets onto a bus with her baby.The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!"The woman goes to…
A Dublin Lawyer Died In Poverty
A Dublin lawyer died in poverty and many barristers of the city subscribed to a fund for his funeral. The Lord Chief Justice of Orbury was…
Back to school
Little Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school. Two days later his teacher phoned his mother totell her that he was…
Armless man
A man walks into the bathroom and sees another guy standing at the urinal with no arms. the guy goes, "man, u really gotta help me…
A wise schoolteacher
A wise schoolteacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school: "If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens…
Are You Sure
Drinking A completely inebriated man was stumbling downthe street with one foot on the curb and one foot in thegutter.A cop pulled up…
An American In Jamaica
A young man truly in love with his girlfriend decided to have her name tattooed on his penis, her name was Wendy, and the tattoo was…
Advanced Newborn
A baby was born that was so advanced that he could talk. He looked around the delivery room and saw the doctor."Are you my doctor?"…
A Night Out At The Strip Joint
Dave works hard at the plant, puts in a lot of overtime, and then spends most evenings bowling, playing basketball or working out at the gym.…
A Good Cold
After a long day at the office the woman sat back in her seat on the train and waited for it to pull out of the…
A Few Q And As
Q. What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?A. Slow down and use a lubricant.Q. What's six inches long, two inches wide, and…
Pizza Coupon
Dispatching her ten-year-old son to pick up a pizza, my sister handed him money and a two-dollar coupon. Later he came home with the pizza, and…